The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines feminism as “The theory of political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.” By this description, I should identify myself as a feminist, but modern-day feminism has taken a different path that I cannot relate to.
Should women have the right to vote? Absolutely. Should women be able to attend college? Of course. Should women be able to choose a career and be compensated based their level of expertise? Yes. All of this and more is available to women across this nation. We are free to be successful, career-driven females or nurturing stay-at-home moms or both. These are basic rights in our society, but not in many other societies around the world. American women take for granted all the privileges that we have inherited from people like Susan B. Anthony, Alice Paul, and Elizabeth Cady Stanton who began the fight for our voices to be heard.
The “Women’s Right’s Movement” was and is very necessary, but what do you do when you have fought and won? History has done most of the work for us. I am not so naïve to believe misogyny has been completely eradicated or that some men will never refer to you as a “crazy woman driver”, but women have much more of an upper hand than we give ourselves credit for. There are many places and outlets that are specific to women and their needs. More and more men are becoming stay at home fathers, as women decide to pursue full-time careers. A woman screams harassment, abuse or rape and often, the man is guilty until proven innocent, at least in the court of public opinion. A mother is still far more likely to obtain custody of children following a divorce. And let’s not forget our God-given right, that no man will ever be able to do, and that is the ability to grow, nurture and give birth to a life. The bond between mother and child that begins 9 months before it even enters the world gives us a gift no man will ever be able to experience. This quote describes how I feel perfectly…
If anyone remembers the television show, “Designing Women”, you may remember the character of Julia Sugarbaker. She is what my idea of feminism is…an intelligent, strong, quick-witted woman with a sharp tongue. She handled herself like a lady, but also never allowed anyone to control her. Julia Sugarbaker would never have reduced herself to marching around dressed as female genitalia, wearing a pink vagina hat, discussing (in detail) the struggles of having a monthly menstrual cycle in front of a crowd of thousands, if not millions of people. She had way too much class to make such a tacky display of herself. Not to say, she would not speak her mind if she felt compelled to do so. However, she always did it in such a way that she was not demanding respect, but in the end, you couldn’t help but respect how she presented her argument. The kind of feminism that doesn’t mind if a man picks up a check at dinner or opens the door for her. This wasn’t a “microaggression”, just a simple display of gentlemen-like behavior. It didn’t make her less of a woman, nor should it. Feminism does not have to mean that you complain about men or degrade them to make a point about how important women are.
As a mother of two daughters, teaching them to be strong, independent, smart, capable and compassionate women is my goal. I don’t believe in creating a victim where there need not be one. Be responsible for yourself, find someone who appreciates you and remember, it’s okay to be feminine. It’s okay to wear a dress and heels or spend an hour or two on your hair and make-up. It’s okay to be emotional sometimes and cry at a sad movie or laugh at a funny chick-flick. It’s okay if you choose to be a stay-at-home mom and raise your children, if that is what you want to do. It’s okay for you to take care of your future husband, if that makes you happy. And it is definitely okay for you to appreciate a compliment from a man without trying to find an excuse to be offended by it…because sometimes, it is what it is, just a nice gesture.
The Women’s Rights Movement has taken an ugly turn in our society creating more of a divide amongst women and less of a unity of strong females. It is “Mean Girls” at its finest. We are no longer cheering each other on, but taking each other out. It has become you must agree with all the things modern day feminists believe or you are out of the club. You cannot be conservative, you cannot be pro-life, and you must believe that climate change is more important than national security. Based on current liberal-minded women, my conservative Christian values make me less of a woman and my opinion on feminism is no longer valid or accepted by today’s standards…even if I still believe in the empowerment of every woman…not just the ones that agree with my perspective. So, now I happily refer to myself as the Anti-Feminist Feminist.
Nicole
I am a man and I think I support all the things that you have said in this article. My wife is a doctor and my parents raised me to respect and treat women with respect. However, in the last few years observing the trend that women had been displaying started making me think twice whether women really deserve the respect.
Every feminist agenda whether displayed on TV or spoken on the Internet,would divert only to an extreme bull-ism by strong feminist making you believe that all women are victims and all men are bullies and need to be punished. However reading this article makes me think that there are intelligent intellectuals out there still who truly understand what feminism is and are helping guide others.
The reality is that all woman without exception are feminists inside. Its just that now that the extremist feminism actually started to wake up men ( MGTOW) and some woman are already starting to get scared of dying alone or not have someone to extract resources from.
The pedestal that men put woman for a long time is has started to shake violently .
Why do you think that you never heard about “woman against feminism” before when feminism were ravaging young boys lifes with fake acuzations, alimony, child support for someone else kid etc etc ?
They are slowly realizing what they have done ( the utter destruction of our society ).
The artificial wombs are coming soon and sexbots are there to quench the biological needs but men will have to learn from what women did to them and make sure it never happens again.
“I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men. Be alone, that is the secret of invention. Be alone, that is when ideas are born.”
– Nikola Tesla (1856-1943)
Okay. We get it. You hate women, and can’t get over it.
Congratulations, you’ve victimized men in perfect parallel to the very feminism you hate. Men and women are truly one and the same.
If you need further assistance, please fill out the Internet Butthurt Complaint Submission Form, available by searching with your favorite engine.
And my dear that response is why MGTOW has happened mind you most are not as extreme we just do our own thing and if there is a ich that needs scratching hire a call girl.it is amazing how much cheaper life is when you only pay for your self
She didn’t victimize men at all. Men deserve to be respected just like us women do. she wasn’t just manifesting that feminism sometimes is exaggerated. like it’s really unnecessary to have the need to walk in the street naked and demand rights for that or complain about your period and expect men to worship you because you have your period. It is embarrassing when a girl does that. AND HELL no men are not similar to us. we are for sure different. females are not meant to behave males
You need to realize that Feminism today is not for women, nor is it by women. Plenty of today’s feminists are men. In fact, they are often men like Al Franken, the guy that groped sleeping women, or Bill Clinton, the man who raped women in the white house. Notice the kids of things today’s feminists say; “Islam is a Feminist religion” Hello? Islam tells parents to mutilate their daughters so that sex is painful to them. Islam condones honor killings of women who have been raped. This is a big reason that Feminists will do nothing for women in the Middle east who suffer terrible abuse. Todays feminism is not about men, nor is it about women. It is merely a way to smear the opposition. You should respect women, because all people deserve respect, and because you are a gentleman. Not because of feminism, or whatever it stands for today.
Mind you I am not really singling out Islam. Most religions are not particularly “feminist”. The thing is, I have never heard anyone say “Catholicism is a Feminist Religion”. If they had, I would have been equally skeptical.
I am completely confused to where you have obtained this information about Islam.
“I am completely confused to where you have obtained this information about Islam”
Yes, you are definitely confused if you’ve never heard about what the vile doctrine of Islam has in store for women which plays out in every Islamic country.
I’m confused by your confusion!
rape criminal is ought to kill in Islam. not the rape victim. In Catholicism marrying divorced women is forbidden while in Islam it’s not. Islam makes right in wealth for women to inherit from family. you’re also an islamophobic
Chris fal, buddy if you think women have more rights in ANY ISLAMIC place, your smoking some tyoe of drugs.a woman rape victim need 3 men to confirm she was raped? How is that saying woman are any less then one third a mens word? He’s not a islamphobe, you just don’t understand the religion your preaching.
I’ll just leave this here…
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/07/world/asia/pakistan-toughens-laws-on-rape-and-honor-killings-of-women.html
“ISLAMABAD, Pakistan — The Pakistani Parliament on Thursday passed laws to increase sentences for rapists and those who commit so-called honor killings of women, and closed a loophole that allowed many of the killers to go free, after hours of heated opposition from Islamist lawmakers.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/05/28/in-pakistan-honor-killings-claim-1000-womens-lives-annually-why-is-this-still-happening/?utm_term=.2a82808d7fc2
“Some Islamic fundamentalists think that only through the murder of an offending family member can honor be restored to the rest of the family. Honor killings predominantly affect women — 943 women were killed under such circumstances in 2011 and another 869 in 2013, though not all of them were stoned. Some were just gunned down in cold blood.”
Okay as a Muslim I know better than u do in my own religion and Islam doesn’t state anywhere that u have to kill a women who is raped ,but Islam states that men and women are both equal and both deserve the rights of education and jobs
Vov, you made a bold claim here: “Islam tells parents to mutilate their daughters so that sex is painful to them. Islam condones honor killings of women who have been raped. ”
This is against Islam!
Tbh, you cannot show a reference for this from a strong islamic resources. If you claim that it’s Islamic doctrine, you need to show this rule from a strong resource. In order to do what you said above, you need to violate many rules of the Islam.
So called Islamic countries application does not mean that it is a doctrine of Islam.
Those are their problems not Islam’s. Wrong applications are problems of the cultures, countries. For example, in Turkey, there is no such a rule even though Turkey is also another problematic country.
This is not true. You are not representing Islam accurately. Islam is definitely not a feminist religion. But It doesn’t “condone” honor killings of women who have been raped. And Islam doesn’t tell parents to mutilate their daughters so that sex is painful to them. Don’t accuse any religion or ideology because you don’t agree with its belief.
ehm hell no. yes, i respect women just like i respect EVERY HUMAN BEING. respect is EARNED , you’re fine with me, i’m fine with you, that’s how it works…i’m a gentleman to everyone who respect me.
Modern Feminism wants privileges and preferential treatment for women, and if it comes at the expense of men, all the better. This article was written in 2010 and shows how feminism has changed over time.
http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html
This is exactly how I feel. I have many modern day feminist friends, male and female, and they all shut me down when I speak my mind. So we don’t talk about it anymore.
Dear Nicole,
This article rang very true to me. I’ve been very conflicted about why I don’t feel good about labeling myself as a feminist or associating myself with feminist movements but I love being a woman and want all women to enjoy the rights that I have. I don’t mean the rights to more money at my job, rights to be promiscuous or vulgar, but I mean the right to work hard, the right to feel beautiful because I am needed, the right to feel confident in my uniqueness.
I am so happy I ran into your page, I will definitely be back.
Thank you thank you thank you for doing your part to spread truth. I am working on doing the same!
Women who want to continue enjoying all the rights and the positive relations fomented between men and women should be actively pushing back against this destructive ideology. This ideology is a wolf in sheep’s clothing (or pussy hat) that will serve to do nothing but ruin the relationship between men and women – and greatly affect familes. We should vocally and publicly reject it and inoculate young women against it. Nothing good will come from making men and women hate one another (mostly a Western problem – Asians are not falling for his foolishness)
The fact that the wildly popular “Women’s March” was organized by a radical Muslim who advocates for Sharia in the West and who is a known anti-Semite with connections to Hamas PROVES that feminism in 2017 has NOTHING to do with equality of the sexes and EVERYTHING to do with weakening the West one couple at a time.
Loved this post – hit the nail on the head. Feminism is so unbiblical. Came across your post from research I’m doing on different opinions on feminism because I too I’m writing on this “social movement” on my site.
1 my greetings . Again .The same story .I tell to whom didn’t know by it .hoping that you will tell by it .What I will say not only story but news also .. in spite of .I feel so disappointed cause no effect yet to all what I did .. but I try ..again and again till all know ..and my be one of whom read will success to do something .. what I have my friends not easy but fight against the great power of evil . Fight against Satan In same meaning .. The evil made himself a prophet in Iraq . Yes friends look at mazy silly . Fake prophet .and he established biggest net you never see like it. His net covering Iraq ..I don’t know who support this .net by money .He call his net some time organisation or . Chief of trib .or security group .or . Put himself on government or political ..Every day he have new lies …This style of snake change it skin .as the weather want . This Satan have a lot of money .And so high new technology . In his evil net .like satellite .and he broken all international laws .that prevent gangs from use new technology ..Please focus on this point so much cause it’s weak point .We can use against this evil net .If you can call all agents and tell it .by this .Also Stan have electronic airplanes .and he have so danger weapons .secret machine of kill . That Is mind control program . He got it from trafficking . And unlawful market . And because Iraq full by curreption .All this deadly weapons come with out any one know . Beside .3 the ignorant about this weapons .I mean no one believe by it exist .I saw this when I told many by this .No universities or health department in Iraq know any thing about mind control .and as usual Iraq government and responsibilities .open their ugliest mouths .to bones this Satan net throw to it .As price of silent . Price of blood of Iraqies people ..that died by this weapons . This gangs of evil .have four group those like servant of prophet . So loyal to him . He have computer .and he give his orders to his four group .kill or steal ..deform fame of others .damage any thing he want . This information so important .cause if you didn’t know .You will be cheated by this four group .thinking that those every one alone .or he lead himself .but fact is .All follow their master the fake prophet ….This prophet .have some one with him all time this is guy .and he give him authority to lead his four group .I don’t know my be he will make him instead .when he die .to lead this satanic Kingdom in Iraq .. .I wish tell you .about this false prophet ..more ..first .He didn’t appear .but use trick to hide himself and lead his four cattle of monsters or group .. He put him self in side the bodies of others .how ..by choice any body he want from every place in Iraq .as usual Iraq government will close eyes and mouth only open to full by gangs money .. He put spy tool of mind control chip .on others body .by 4 trick he will be inside this body see and hear what this body see and hear ..He use this body for few month then he kill it and take another .as Iraq people’s like sheep .to this evil .no one escape alive yet now from this trick
Just me . I did .by chance .I don’t know how I cover this net of evil .but I suffer from Ray full my body .my mind nearly I can thing .But I must .to shed light on this night evil net …..so difficult that some one in Iraq challenge this gangs ..no one can stand against it .their members full security departments I saw this when I tried a lot to inform against this gangs …also curreption in Iraq .and this gangs have money .can sale any thing ..They saled my family and many of my friends and relatives .and make them dogs to the gangs …..before I complete I wish or I have some thing I need your help by it . Don’t worry I will not ask you to bring gun and come to Iraq to revenge from this gangs .cause it attacked France and Belgium and Russia and USA and Turkey and England .and Germany .yes this net of this evil did all this .. but I ask few fever .. ( please put this information with you as witness .and document cause I need . I am so normal person in Iraq so poor .I didn’t have any organisation in Iraq .also I am not chief of my trib or my family .also I am not work in security .or .political .also I am not in government .I am alone .I didn’t have any followers .or some one do my orders ..)6 this document so much important .If it be in safe place . Cause this gangs use so much lies against me .like it steal some one .And say they are belong to me ..or lie and said they are my organisation .or do curreption in any place and say they with me .. and I am just normal person represent my self only .so poor .didn’t have any money I can saled gun to defend on my self .those shot me .Also their gangs provoke and they know very well I am alone and so poor .. no one refuse what this gangs want .I did .But yet now I pay a lot as charge this satanic net have arms every where .It can reach to any one on Iraq ..By they Way its now spy on me .This mean they know all what I said to you .but don’t worry . I will solve this .first this message I will not send another to you .I mean when you got it forget me .Don’t send to me email or contact by phone .also I will give you good way to make sure about what I said .This will make you cover any one from this gangs will call you or send email to you to lies . The way is ( go or call the nato alliance .and ask from them to observe this place in Iraq by satellites . Iraq / diwaniyh city / afak twon ) by this way you will not need me or any one .All things will be so clear .Some suggestions .If you can do . Tell Vatican by this false prophet in Iraq and his net or gangs .tell him that this evil say he know hide things like 7@ like god. Also tell him that this evil give his orders to the four group that he have to attack francs and Belgium and Russia and USA and Turkey .Germany .England . . Then he give forgiveness to whom did . I wish the voice of Vatican will be high. .. also try with Un tell them . And every one you think he will be useful .This gangs must be naked .shed light on it .This gangs use cheat and decieve .They kill some one and cry on him . Four group like seed of evil .their lies no equal ..no trust by this net . It’s circle of lies .closed itself .mad lake if you walk on you will sink .One so evil person I don’t know exactly what is his background but he is intelligent officer .and the guy also work in security .you see this net leaded by security not civil .The evil make himself as prophet .and hide himself ..and lead his gangs by his computer
All his four group .wait his order no one refuse .. This gangs have many faces .If one want punish it .He will face big problems .For example .If you ask one of his gangs who are you .He will say they are organization .but he is lie .cause all organisations in Iraq have department .This responsible if any organisation break the laws . I inform this department but nothing happened to this net .also if you get another one .He will say they are trib. And all this laws tribal .but also he is lie .no chief of any trib hide himself and use bodies of others to lead his trib .. 8 and no chief of trib divided his trib .guys and not guys .or small and big .also in all world people In county side famous by their high manner and good behaviour .but those not .also no chief of trib put a guy as his right hand to help him to lead his trib ..and no chief of trib divided his trib to four group .Each one work alone .but all under his orders and his guy .you see no way they are gangs only .out of any laws .whom lead it work in security .I don’t know exactly did their members know that their false prophet work in security or not .He and his guy .by the way all Iraq problems and hunger and curreption .violent sector and hatness .and steal .This net of Satan behind it .Now let me give you funny joke .do you hear by saying said your money fly upon you and your pocket empty .This what happened here in Iraq .people’s suffer from poor .but electronic airplanes .fly upon their heads .And they watch .from where this gangs of Satan bring money to get this electronic airplanes .an swear .from the blood of iraqi people’s .no body open his mouth .from fair .also by their money this gangs bring bullet to shoot them .I mean the mind control weapons .This gangs kill with out any mercy by so evil hide way .people’s fallen by deadly diseases .heart attack and artery .stomach .suicide .crazy .else .look at this gangs what it doing ..Satan by his four group play as he want .and made Iraq like his snake nest .He and his9 and his guy .Full responsibility .about all Iraq problems .This net is plague on Iraq body .its school of thief’s and criminals .recruited people’s .to graduate as gangs .any one want to be head of gang he will go to them .and knee to this evil announce his loyalty to him .He will get money and training .to be head of gang. And his name will be in red names .In Satan record .All four group in this record file .about me I am nothing in Iraq just simple person I been like this and I still .I never said I know hide things or I give forgiven .I didn’t have any relation with this gangs . In spite that this evil cheated a lot of people from whom I know from friends or relative .but I warn them .saying they is evil spy on me and I am just normal person .I don’t have any organisation. Or any position .be car fully .I didn’t record any one or give orders .when I Eaat or drink or take money or things .or visit any one .Or think .or talk or see or hear .also I represent my self .else .by this I warn others if they take by it or not I do what I saw it true ..and legal .cause I know my self .I know I am nothing in Iraq .just so simple person only .All whom faked pictures to me they are from those four group of Satan net and his evil guy .I am so poor also .I told Un about this evil net and about they tried to use my body .by putting spy tool on me .I am not lead any one from this gangs but who lead hide behind they10 the spy .what can I do to flee my self .or at least avoid any game from this evil four group .and evil and his guy .Some time I go alone to prevent who spy on me from see his members .because when I see them he see also and give his orders .This spy tool so hard to can remove it from my head it need a lot of money and I don’t have any money .also those four grip and their guy prevent people’s from help me .by money .cause they want their game and lies still ..by they way I didn’t give those four group any thing ..money or pistions .I didn’t .
This post needs to be translated into English. It doesn’t make sense.
That’s how schizophrenia works.
Your punctuation sucks.
I love this so much , you said exactly what I’ve been thinking
I do agree with some of this.. I think to myself.. why do i have to be on this womans side.. just because shes a women? What if i agree with the man ? Does that mean im not a.feminist.. but besides that your article sounds less like an anti-feminist feminist, and more like a conservative-Christian, liberal hater.. you are lumping all liberal women into one group, just as you say they do to you.
I agree. I have two friends (man & wife) who often wear FEMINIST t-shirts. It is so aggravating. I was raised by a mother who grew up on a Wyoming ranch. In her family, everyone did the ranch work for survival. They all drove cattle, lassoed calves for branding (ow) and did all the other hard work whether they were male or female. My father raised my sister & me to believe we could do anything we wanted. My sister had a 156 IQ. She chose to be a mother. I did other things. I am sick of people making a huge display about being a feminist. You aren’t allowed to disagree. People will shut you down as being “ignorant.”
Have you ever watched Rick and Morty? I’ll keep it brief. There are a number of parallel universes and the characters of each all adjoin into one area. This proves troubling in many ways, mentality, egos, and dissolution to human variety. Your ideal feminism would create the same problem, just as how not all men are sharp or quick witted, women should be in a spectrum with all the opportunities equal to every other human being. But let me address what caused me to leave a comment. Your inclusion of women into feminism is akin to placing all black individuals in the 60s and 70s as followers of Malcom X (which turned into its own form of hate crime against blacks) or Black Panthers when they’re looking for Martin Luther King.
Excellent article. I feel much the same way and you put my feelings into words. I love your anti-feminist feminist label and will consider using it myself. Bravo for your bravery and honesty!
Brilliant Nicole
Feminism sounds like a dictatorship to me. You better agree with me or suffer my wrath lol.
The fact that bold successful Conservative women are not considered “feminist” shows that feminism is nothing about women’s equal rights but everything about far-left liberalism.
If feminism is solely about ‘equal rights’, then why are so many women who believe in equal rights the ‘wrong’ kind of woman?
You’re the ‘wrong kind’ of woman if you think maybe the government should spend less of your money
You’re the ‘wrong kind’ of woman if you think maybe women should make better choices with the men they allow to father their children
You’re the ‘wrong kind’ of woman if you think family is a vital part of life
You’re the ‘wrong kind’ of woman if you want to be hired solely on merit and not as part of a quota
You’re the ‘wrong kind’ of woman if you think that maybe women have some accountability for being reckless and putting themselves in dangerous situations
You’re the ‘wrong kind’ of woman if you think women should go into STEM instead of majoring in Women’s Studies
You’re the ‘wrong kind’ of women if you think that despite its flaws that the US (and the West) is an amazingly safe and welcoming place for women to fulfill their ambitions
You’re the ‘wrong kind’ of woman if you get along with men and don’t see them as enemies
You’re the ‘wrong kind’ of woman if you think that covering girls and women with large black sheets to go out in public or cutting off their clieterous to control their sexual appetite is nothing less that barbaric and not deserving of respect
Thank you for your thoughtful and cogent response to this article. I have been the “Wrong Kind of Woman”. Even though I have thought of myself as a person who has my own thoughts and ideas about things, my choices to be a homemaker and stay at home Mom, from the time I was 18 years old has disqualified me from having a voice in the public arena of Women’s issues. I obviously can’t know what I am talking about. The wisdom and experience I believe I have gained over a lifetime counts for nothing because I wasn’t out proving I had as much testosterone as any Man I encountered.
It’s nice to finally read a perspective on feminism that I can relate to. I have seen disturbing trends shown with heterosexual couples in public places, ads, etc. (such as a girl paying for the meal, the girl being the complete giver of physical affection and the guy giving nothing, the girl being the initiator and pursuer, the girl doing all the housework while the guy sits on the couch with his phone, the girl being the leader and the guy being the follower). For several years, I have wondered why society has changed so drastically in this way. Now I discovered that those trends have been a direct result of feminism. Feminism has done alot of damage, but another detail of it is how it has reversed the gender roles, making the girl become the guy and the guy become the girl. This is something that truly bothers me. The guys have become so wimpy and needy that I feel I can’t respect them. As a girl, I desire for the man to be the leader, the initiator, the pursuer, the giver, the protector, and the provider. Those attributes are what really make him a man, and it’s that type of manliness that I respect.
Women I initiating relationships? Hah! Women are just as risk averse and gold diggerish as they have always been. Your post even reinforces that with your emphasis on the man being the provider.
Well, it’s truly what I have been seeing, not just on TV or on the internet, but in person, too.
“such as a girl paying for the meal, the girl being the complete giver of physical affection and the guy giving nothing, the girl being the initiator and pursuer, the girl doing all the housework while the guy sits on the couch with his phone, the girl being the leader and the guy being the follower” where do you live? i’m really curious because media are showing the total opposite (at least in the west)! “As a girl, I desire for the man to be the leader, the initiator, the pursuer, the giver, the protector, and the provider. Those attributes are what really make him a man, and it’s that type of manliness that I respect.” anyway, my dear Rachel, what you want is not a “real man” but a slave, trust me, no real self respectful man would ever have a relationship with a girl like you. leave alone marry one! you want the benefits achieved with feminism and the benefits from traditionalism, have a cake and eat it all! too easy my darling, get off your self made pedestal…..BYE AND ENJOY YOUR CATS ONCE YOU’LL HIT THE WALL!
Sigh, it felt good to read this. I live in LA…..all women wear their pink hats and dress up like a vagina like its cool and makes a radical change..they didn’t do that when women had NO rights, they didn’t make themselves look like fools but people who demanded equality and they got it, hell we’ve come a long way since the 70’s…I just cringe a little inside and stay far away from all of it. I was raised in an abusive household but that didn’t make me think that women are oppressed, I just knew that the abuser was a bad person…..His actions were inexcusable and I learned a lot from that time, if my boyfriend EVER hurt me in a way I didn’t want or if I saw a friend be abused by a lover I would make that man pay just as hard…regardless of what happens to me in the physical sense. In today’s political dysfunction If you are different you are an enemy, even to those who promote feminism…this isn’t turn of the century America. Women are not slaves to men anymore, we are not traded off in marriage arrangements, we are not denied schooling or work, hell now women who don’t want to be female can be male or whatever they want. Yeah really oppressed….. I do know that women are not exempt from lying and I do know that men are not all evil. But I can’t help but feel and see that that is how most “Fems” try to paint the world. Either you are a liberal woman OR you are part of a problem and must either be converted to liberalism or cast out like a freak…As I was by a very intense liberal woman in her sixties, I disagreed with her and her ugly pink hat that didn’t move my thoughts so she made me out to be a horrible human being regardless of what my true thoughts were…..I am not a racist (have friends of all kinds), or sexist, or any political type, free thinker more than anything (I was raised in a Republican household and all my friends are Democrats but I refuse both platforms and surprisingly, the Republicans were more excepting of my dis-like for platforms than the Dems….) and while my mama went through some tough times against Men of the household I wasn’t raised to be pushed around or to think that because I was a lady I was weaker than men and that men could treat me any way they like. I was told if you are HIT you HIT BACK, regardless of sex. I was told that if I want to do something, the only thing I should consider is if I will succeed and provide income for myself while doing what I wanted. I don’t find men to be a problem but rather women who try to spread their thoughts that all woman are oppressed. Should we fight to end rape?
Yes..but rape isn’t just SUddenly a problem its been a problem since the dawn of time and Men are not the only types of rapists, women are too….I have a hard time relating to these new fems because while my life was not the perfect female dream I was not told NO YOU CAN’T simply for being a woman. I was told that like my brother, and he was told that like his sister, we could do and be anything we set our minds to, just make sure that it’s a path you will make a living on and become successful on. I don’t know what message I’m trying to get across, but I do know that this article brought me a smile. Anti Fem, Feminist.
I think you have the definition of feminism skewed. Feminism to me, and most women and men that I know, means giving all women the ability to make any decision and have any opportunity that a man has. It doesn’t mean she needs to take it, it means she has the choice to. I don’t agree with you (at all), but I support your right to voice your opinion. We need women who speak out and make a difference in the world. I’m not a man-hater, I support all genders and believe that women should have the same rights as men. What they chose to do with those rights is up to them.
If they have the same rights then why cant men have their own clubs the same as women do?
I love this! I always say that my problem with these movements is they deny people of their individuality. Saying you do not agree with something would literally earn you that look of a weirdo. I strongly believe that both the extremists and liberals should be allowed to coexist . After all life is for the living and we all can decide how we want to stay alive.
#anantifeministwoman
A true anti-feminist isn’t feminists.
I think you are grouping a very select few people when assuming that all in favor of women’s rights “hate men”, “get offended by compliments”, etcetera. I think the modern day feminist movement is not oppressing individuality but ALLOWING women to have individuality–we are beginning to be able to pursue anything we’d like instead of funneling back into the jobs and positions often taken up by women in the past. We are also beginning to no longer be associated with titles like “ditzy” or “emotional” but instead acknowledged by our unique, authentic traits. This feminist movement does have issues–for example, it’s primarily run by white women–but I think it’s taking a step forward in uniting all women.
Titles like ditzy or emotional? Really? That’s a concern? How about titles like future rapist or murderer or savage or animal or possible pedophile or manbaby or OPPRESSOR? Do those sound like more fun? Did you also think getting up and going to work every day is a total blast for us? Did you buy into that? That’s what WE get to deal with.
Jenna – I think you are more in line with feminism of the past. All of those things you mention like jobs you can pursue and not labeling all women as “emotional” (although ALL humans have emotions of course so we are emotional, as are men:). Can you really say that in today’s culture women are being denied entry into certain fields? Even 20 years ago when I was finishing high school, I was offered and asked to do anything my heart desired (by my male school counselor). I was not told I could only be a “secretary” or “nurse” or “teacher”. And of course, there may be the occasional man out there who is sexist, sexism is not and has not been systemic in our society in many decades. I don’t believe that we have been denied a place in any career field for many decades. In the suffrage movement of the early 1900’s this was a different story of course. I suspect you are more of a classical feminist than a modern feminist who steps on men to raise up women, like a typical middle school bully.
What a refreshing article! I think that the author is, indeed, in favor of women’s rights. For example, she opens the article by writing, “Should women be able to choose a career and be compensated based on their level of expertise? Yes.” One of the author’s main points is that contemporary feminism (rather than supporting women’s rights) supports some women’s goals and not others. I agree with her. The feminists I’ve met support my goals only when my goals are in line with what they want me to pursue. If I say I’d like to be a political activist, for example, the feminists whom I know will rally around me. If I say to them I want to be a stay-at-home mom? Good luck to me.
When Nicole describes women who treat compliments from men as “microagression” or “find an excuse to be offended,” she is not grouping a select few. She is describing a cultural trend. I can’t prove that this trend exists. I can only state that, as a woman, I believe it exists based on my experience, research and daily interactions. Like the author, I think that this trend is harmful and unnecessary.
The author also makes the point that, “Feminism does not mean that you have to complain about men or degrade them to make a point about how important women are.” I am delighted to finally read this perspective. What’s more, it is stated clearly and intelligently. Who, exactly, is being helped by feminism’s attempts to negate men’s feelings and turn men into non-entities?
I love this. Simply because I do not identify with modern day feminism either. I do not want to be masuclated or ” boyish/ manish” I wanted to be treated like a lady. I love & embrace my womanhood! And biologically we are different! That is the beauty of individuality! Thank you fir this article although i did tweet it and im receiving flack! Why don’t they get it?!
An interesting discussion is price comment. I think that it’s best to write extra on this topic, it may not be a taboo subject however usually people are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers
Thank you for this website. I’d like to make a little observation, though: there are also a lot of us on the left side of politics who are against the current hysterical form of feminism. I’m a pro-abortion leftie, yet I agree with 95% what you say, and I think that women are being infantilized and dragged straight back into victimhood by modern feminists. Also, I think the so-called male feminists are nothing but predators in disguise. I hope there is room for me in your movement, since the extreme liberal feminists kicked me out ages ago.
I appreciate finding in your site a common voice for many of my struggles with modern feminism. I do agree absolutely that during the time of the suffrage movement, and even into the civil rights era of the 1960’s, women were indeed being deemed unequal. Unfortunately our modern response to that has been to do the typical “little kid bully” response which is put the other person down to raise yourself. We have made masculinity “toxic”, chivalry “dangerous”, to the point where I even have female acquaintances who consider being asked out on a date akin to sexual assault. As a staunchly pro life woman (for many reasons, including the well being of women), I have been disinvited to the table of conversation and idea sharing. I consider myself a complementarian rather than a feminist. I have 1 honorable husband, 2 sons with great character, and 4 strong brothers, and many men friends who demonstrate lives of integrity and kindness. As women and men, our uniqueness compliments the other, and when we work together, we are stronger for it. Thank you for your articles!
Anti-Feminist Feminist?! That makes no fuckin’ sense! If you’re anti-feminist, you can’t be feminist!
The title simply references the different definitions of feminism. I and many others on this site understand feminism to be inherently biased against men, as evidenced by the word “feminism” in reference to the female sex. Most feminists, on the other hand, insist feminism is a movement for equality between genders. In the US and Europe, women have more legal rights than men. That doesn’t seem equal to me.
An anti-feminist can’t be a feminist. You’re with feminism or against it.
How do I cite this web page.
You can class me as one as well.
I’m saddened to read that the backlash to modern day feminism is generally a MGTOW stance, which embitters people and restricts their lives in so many ways. I know it’s only a backlash and hopefully temporary, but I can’t help feeling sad about it.
What modern day feminism has made out of women’s actual needs is awful.
How many of these so-called feminists support paid maternity leave or assistance for financially stranded mothers? In my experience reading through their social missives, not many are concerned with pressing issues women deal with; they’re more concerned with “cat calling” and proportional representation on the comedy scene, whether the women ending up there are funny or not.
And reiterating my point from a different comment, no one in the feminist movement seems concerned with the actual circumstances women have abortions in, let alone the long term effects.
There is no one left to speak for these women, coereced into abortions, but the pro-life movement, part of which takes the completely wrong approach and lays the blame on them for being in that situation in the first place.
An actual feminist would surely bring up this issue.
Hi Nicole,
Your arguments against feminism seem to come from a place of reason. I’m familiar with this line of reasoning as I used to believe in similar things, however, I have since come to realize that what I knew of feminism as a monolithic movement, has in fact many branches. The branch of feminism that your complaints are chiefly against is called White Liberal Feminism. It consists of mostly middle and upper class white women of liberal, democratic leaning and most of their feminism has been deemed as self-serving by most feminists themselves.
Other branches of feminism do exist, not only accept but in fact revel in womanhood (referring to the quote). These branches are indigenous feminism, WOC feminism, CERTAIN sub categories radical feminism and even Marxist feminism. These branches are also EXPLICITLY NOT man hating; the women sympathize with their men for the trauma they face at the hands of toxic masculinity that tries to emasculate men on the daily basis (men being made to feel like they aren’t manly enough, not being ok to show emotions, expected to take the lead, pitted against women as adversaries etc.). By acknowledging their trauma, these branches seek to HEAL the divide between the sexes, not exacerbate them. They say to men ‘I know you are suffering, and so am I (black/indigenous women are still consistently the victims in higher numbers of violent crimes, only 4-4.5% CEOs are women, the double shift phenomenon etc.). How can we work together to solve these issues? What can we do that benefits us both (as well as non binary people)?’.
So, to discount feminism as a whole because of WL feminism is to do a disservice to the marginalized women before us who were brushed aside in favour of WL women.
I discovered this not so long ago myself, and have been learning more about the philosophies of these branches slowly. I would love to chat with you should you like to engage in a discussion about what you make of feminism as a multifaceted movement, rather than a monolithic one.
Sincerely,
D