Time passed the semester began and Renaldo and I became “friends”. I explained to him that I was not ready for sex and although he said that he understood verbally he always indicated that he was ready and would be happy to explore that. After some months of talking daily and getting to know each other we had sex. It was consensual but I still felt guilty about it and tried to end the relationship shortly after. He continued to pursue what he would call “at least we can be friends”. His intentions of course were not limited to friendship.

Now throughout our relationship, from time to time, I would get calls from a particular girl. She would ask me why my phone number was always present in Richard’s phone. I wasn’t dating Richard, but I assumed that Renaldo called me from his brother’s phone and so I would say that Renaldo must have used it to call me and that I do not talk to Richard. She was satisfied with this and said that she was the girl friend of Richard. I spoke to Renaldo about that and it all seemed okay. One day after the end of our relationship I was standing in line at a copy shop on campus behind Richard’s girl friend and I heard her order.

Something clicked. “I know that voice” I thought. I decided to speak to her. The more she spoke the more I knew her and then it clicked.

Me: “You are Richard’s girl friend I said, how is Renaldo? We broke up!”
Her: “What do you mean you broke up she said, Renaldo is 9 years old.”
Me: “No he isnt. Renaldo is Richards twin brother”
Her: “Richard doesn’t have a twin brother”

We sat down and we talked and we talked and we talked. She was in fact Richard’s girl friend and the relationship that I thought that I had was a complete lie. He did not have a twin brother and I had even seen him together with his girlfriend on campus but believed it to have been his twin and so thought nothing of it. This crushed me. I had had sex, for the first time with someone who was completely playing me.

A lie for a lie was my justification. I reported him as a rapist to campus police but never followed up on the report. He was not harmed or arrested or anything. The lie was just my way of dealing with the mental fuckery that I was dealt. I’m not trying to justify what I did. I know that it was wrong and that there is no excuse for it. I will say that the idea came to me because of all the h